Back in August, I uploaded a personal note on Astro Nusantara after they dropped the British Premier League without so much as a by your leave (see Astro sucks if you’re not short on time and have no particular place to go).

Last week, I received an SMS / Text Message from Astro saying, “So Long & Thanks for all the Fish”.

It didn’t say that literally but you get the idea — I half-thought it was a crank or junk text but, when I arrived home, my Astro satellite decoder (cheap piece of crap that it is) did nothing but blink the time at me.

Damn it: not even the right time.

(By the way, I might have taken the time to post a few notes on the topic the following week but, fortunately, I had my hands full…)

Anyhoo, on the day, I didn’t believe it so popped over to the Astro Nusantara website to be greeted by:

Sorry our website address has changed to
www.directvisiontv.com
In a moment you will automatically be re-directed to
www.directvisiontv.com

How funny is that?

So, I went to see the Direct Vision website where I was greeted by a thank you note and a picture of people on elephant back… no, I’m serious, look:

Oh look: the chap at the front has a football… he sure as hell didn’t get that from Astro.

A thank you note and an elephant… you just couldn’t make this stuff up, could you?

In case you’re interested, the note reads something like:

During more than 2 years, PT Direct Vision has broadcast Astro TV and become part of the rich family life of Indonesia.

Now it is time for us to say goodbye and not broadcast until further notice.

Sorry, not our inclination to break up with you, the family of Indonesia.

We remain concerned about our loyal customers.

Customers who have paid in advance will be called for the refund process.

We are proud to have served you.

Thank you on behalf of all the staff of PT DIRECT VISION

Aha, yeah. Alrighty then. Oh, and about that refund phonecall…

So there we are. No live football becomes no tv at all.

Now, back in August shortly after one dreary Saturday night when football and Astro had gone the way of Brad Pitt & Jennifer Aniston, I had found out there was a new playa on the scene: AORA TV.

Now, the AORA deal is a weird one I think and given that there’s already a thank you note and an elephant in the picture, you can be pretty sure I mean WEIRD.

Firstly, I’d never heard of Aora until August.

Next thing you know they’ve launched a new satellite outfit and they’ve got the contract for the British Premier League. Only 1.7 million rupiah for the WHOLE YEAR. What a deal. And a half.

And for that, you get the Olympics (on 4 channels) and the British Premier League (2 channels) and the History Channel and the Hallmark Channel and CNN and BBC and, and, and, and Boomerang (?!) and the Crime Investigation network and, and, and, and a few Indonesian free over the air channels… 12 in all at the time of writing but I believe there were only 8 back in those heady early days of August & September. Or it was the Olympics + 8 more channels.

For only 1.7 mill.

I’m sold. I’m not: I’m bought and sold — what the hell is going on? Where did this Jonny-come-lately find the moolah (my favourite word of today) to pick up the Olympics and the Premier League but still be wood post dumb enough to not offer anything else?

Which bright spark at ESPN/STAR allowed themselves into a deal with a company who’ll ensure their brightest product (BPL) never sees the light of day (or late evening)?

How the hell did that happen? Why, why, why?

Oh well. Whatever. Never mind.

The main thing is that it happened.

So, I call Indovision (no way I’m going to risk being cut off by another new satellite provider and, besides, apart from the football which is only on the weekend, I’d quickly go nuts watching Hallmark and The History Channel from Monday to Friday).

And that’s how the story went until this morning when Hep tells me on Saturday night he watched Man United kick about with the intrepid Hull City… on normal TV… for free.

Eh? What? And you didn’t call me?

It was too late.

You f**$%#er.

Then we had a little morning exercise (me chasing Hep around a tiki hut to fetch him a ding alongside the ear) and, after that, we hit the web (we’re just trying to make sense of it all) and, yes, it turns out that TV One (a member of the same group as AORA) is now airing select BPL games live on the weekend.

You could have blown me down… I said that already.

And, if you search the TV ONE website for “liga inggris” and can read Indonesian you’ll see that, apparently, since September 18th, Direct Vision (last seen apologising on elephant back with a football) are now being investigated by the Indonesian version of the Anti-Trust committee… or whichever branch of government deals with monopoly.

Well, something’s fishy… something just plain reeks but if it means easy access to live football, who am I to complain?

I do hope those chaps at Direct Vision will be ok, though… but perhaps I needn’t worry… that elephant certainly looks fast.

Sean

Thought for the day:

You know how every proud parent says their child is the most amazing? One of us has to be right, eh?

Sophie was born at 11:23 PM, Monday October 6th at Puri Bunda Hospital in Bali, Indonesia.

…first image, Dad (that’s me) is cutting the chord. Everyone had told me the chord would be surprisingly difficult to cut so, of course, I overcompensated slightly — you could probably hear the SNIP! from a few miles away.

Then Sophie Helen meets her mother for the first time on the outside…

…she must have been surprised because at this point, all she did was wail, howl, weep & cry.  Athina on the other hand is tired but delighted.

The last (and biggest) image, shows mum & Sophie Helen just after baby has been whisked away for a little personal hygiene & grooming. Sophie Helen’s not crying any more and Athina can’t stop beaming with pride. Sophie Helen Puspita Hynes is now about one hour old.

Here she is again later in the morning — around 9:00 AM — October 7th being held up to the camera by her grandmother…

Athina is there in the background totally wiped out and I can’t remember if I’m taking the photo or if I’ve also slumped into the next bed.

At some point, anyway, we slept. 

Here’s Sophie Helen having her first “proper” bath and getting prettied up for the cameras. Note she’s posing but there’s nothing really on display.

In my opinion, a remarkably precocious display of social awareness and elegance — proof positive that not only is Sophie Helen beautiful, she’s also a genius. Amazing.

Freshly bathed, dressed & accessorized, little baby Sophie Helen takes a few minutes out of her busy schedule to be photographed with fans… in this case Auntie Galih and Grandma.

The next day, October 9th.

Here I am, I’m sure everyone will agree, on the WRONG side of the camera.

Some people might mistake that fixed glaze as the expression of a proud, new dad but in fact I’m just poleaxed and during the course of the day could be found in various nooks and crannies around the hospital staring just like that at tiles, vending machines and old cigarette boxes.

The other chap is the doctor. Athina, you’ve already met and, just at the bottom of the shot, Sophie Helen.

Later that day (just after we meet the doctor) we’re allowed home. Which gives us all the excuse we need to start playing dress-up with our new toy:

So there you have it: the opening hours of Sophie Helen’s life after a gruelling 41 week wait.

The original article is here: Astro Sucks.

I do wonder what the hell happened but, let’s face it, who am I to question the mighty Google?

Anyhoo, on the topic of Astro, I’m going to cancel my subscription (hum, reminds me of the Doors…) sometime in the next couple of weeks and probably go back to Indovision.

Indovision are just as sneaky and gutless as Astro but at least their equipment continues to work in all weather (Astro goes down when it rains and the rainy season is coming up soon…) and you don’t have to wait a day for the guide to update if it ever updates. And the remote control wasn’t designed by Fisher Price.

A new outfit, AORA (http://www.aora.tv) has opened and will offer the Premier League but I’m “up to here” with new installations and silly promises from satellite TV vendors. If anyone signs up with them, good luck and, if you can be bothered, to tell me about it, drop me a line.

Sean

So I switched to Astro and, tonight, had exactly the same experience… keep checking the sports channels but even though the channel guide refers to football, all I’m seeing is old Pool games and Baseball. Two things which generate less than zero interest for me even when they’re live… which these shows aren’t.

Damn.

I suppose the Braniacs at Astro just couldn’t risk losing that extra month of money if they’d announced NOT showing the Premier League as soon as they knew.

I wonder how that policy is going to work for them in the long run?

Hopefully, my case will be the same as for most of their subscribers… they don’t show decent movies; their entertainment shows are all a minimum of one year old. Their navigation and equipment is slow, failure-prone… out of date… crappy. And, now they’ve dropped the only thing I wanted them for, they’re less than useless. So, off I go: back to Indovision until a decent alternative becomes available. I hope every other subscriber does the same… it’s weird to think we’re all paying for old movies, out of date entertainment and now, no sports… no football, no Olympics… sheesh.

How disappointing.

On the bright side, I’ll sleep earlier and shout less.

Goodnight all.

Paris Hilton issues tart rebuttal to McCain ad

Very cute: I was about to say, “Is Barrett implying that Paris Hilton is a tart?” but, in fact, I’ll have to credit the Associated Press and Barrett for being smart enough to wordplay on tart as in bitter and tart (as it’s frequently used in the UK) to mean hussy, slattern, slut, tramp, wanton, wench or whore. Or floozy.

Floozy is a lovely word, eh?

Barrett also describes Ms Hilton as doe-eyed… but I don’t think she is doe-eyed — ‘dough-eyed’, maybe but not doe-eyed:

To the left, a doe; to the right, Ms. Hilton…

Barrett also took time out of an obviously very busy day to pad the article with descriptions like, ’scantily clad’, ‘tongue-in-cheek’ and ‘revealing’.

Gotta love the news.

Sean

On the other hand, if you find anything broken or troublesome, please drop me a line and… how shall I put it? Niggle me, please. I’ll fix it. Eventually.

According to Collins Essential English Dictionary (via thefreedictionary.com) the verb to niggle means either to worry slightly or to find fault continually. As a noun, it is a small worry or doubt or a trivial objection or complaint.

You may also wish to fuss, nag, carp, criticize, cavil or nitpick but, if I were you, I would stick with niggling… it’s more polite. Although quibbling is also acceptable. You might also consider pettifogging.

Sean

And the scan of course.

The montly event to which I look forward the most… wow, I sound like Yoda today. Let’s just say I love the scans.

At Merdeka Clinic, the scans are not great… I think it must be an old ultrasound image that gave rise to that popular phrase, “he can’t tell his arse from his elbow”. Apparently, I’m that bloke.

Ah well, forget about that: here’s the main news:

1. Sophie is — the doctor is “100%” sure — a GIRL. Which, of course, is brilliant. I was not looking forward to sitting down with my tearful young son (Boy Named Sue playing on endless loop in the background) and explaining why we named him Sophie. And hats off to the doctor… I have no idea how he could be so sure…

2. Sophie is a happy, healthy 730g (just a hair over 1.6 pounds if you’re Imperial) baby.

3. Likely expected date has been brought forward to September 29th so we’ve just taken a hop into the 25th week and heading at top speed into week 26. Excellent.

I’ll upload the incomprehensible and frankly not much-use-at-all ultrasound tomorrow morning.

Here’s the Video:

Or watch at Google:

Sophie Hynes - Ultrasound June 19 - I’m a Girl, Can’t You Tell?

Sean

…you are my Queen and I’m happy & proud to be your husband.

I have loved every moment of our time together…

…that’s 63 million, 158 thousand and 400 moments of joy.

Thank You.

I Love You.

Sean